is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I am available for nakedness
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
