When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
