I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
