Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The best revenge is premature balding
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
