I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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