is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
