Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
where am i from again
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
