No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
