Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
