Sponge bath it is.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
