Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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