did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
