he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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