All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm having to shit out rocks
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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