I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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