i just sent this text using only my big toe
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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