i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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