Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So vagazzling was a success
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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