I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
