my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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