Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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