yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
