so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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