why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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