never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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