Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
