Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I believe in your delicious
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize