i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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