Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
