Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
nutella sex= disaster
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
