it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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