you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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