This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
