Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
