I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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