Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
