So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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