I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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