do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
