she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
