yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
