There is no way he is gay with that hair.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
