Where are you?
In a non slutty way
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
