I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
So here I am, sexting at work.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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