the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
