Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
