Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Drunk is a universal language darling
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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