She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Ladies don't puke and tell
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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