Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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