you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
this just has baby written all over it
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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