Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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