I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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