seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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