He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
