It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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