I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
