What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
