I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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