how hairy? two words: wookie tits
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
