I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
