i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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