Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
