i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
