That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
this boner is exhausting
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
