suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
