I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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