I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
