i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
